![]() ![]() I heard it happens to everyone from time to time.īut as far as what I wanted to discuss, this game seems to be about fucking, when it all comes down to it. So yeah, I'm a little early with the LTTP, I like to be a little early with the LTTP, take you all on the ride with me, I dunno, maybe I got a little overexcited and made it prematurely. 'Oh honey, Slimey just went to the big farm in the sky.' OK, so the farm is actually a farm and they do actually go to sleep, but the concept kinda blew my mind. Yeah I'm gonna have to kill some monster babies, but don't you dare call me Kevorkian cuz I LOVE my little guys, right up until they start sucking. This game lets you put your lil buddies to 'sleep' on the 'farm' (I'm not making this shit up), and buddy nobody's gonna know, he mighta been pretty tired. I didn't feed him any meat, which can make them like you or entice them further to join you. I can see what I'm doing here and I'm already the proud papa of DRAC, a dragon, GOLD, a golem, and HALE, a healslime that I'm growing to despise for reasons unknown. ![]() That's not terribly far, but I think I've got the vibe, the loop as the kids say, I think I've got it down. ![]() Eat it up cuz if you're a DQ fan this thing is gonna feed you. Toriyama's about to bang out hundreds of cute homeless vermin that you almost don't wanna kill and you're gonna love it. Enough of these tie-dye dudes with hero complexes and shit. The monsters steal the show, and it's about time. But little did you know, it IS a GBC RPG! That's fine, though. It's like, the platonic ideal of 'fine', it looks like a GBC RPG. In terms of the graphics as a whole though, it's not mind boggling. The gameplay is infinite if you want it to be catch everything, breed everything, hop in a random-gen dungeon as often as you want. y'know, I've tried calling it things other than 'gameplay' after a certain rock-paper playing Englishman wrote a polemic about the term (shoutout for those who know) but I just can't come up with anything: 'so, in terms of. There are, like, 200 monsters from all across the series up until that time, all with walking (and shambling) animations as well as high quality, classic as fuck Toriyama battle portraits. This thing is 5 megabytes and it's STUFFED. Can you fucking believe that? Before the tech was even out. I think this cover somehow led to Brexit.ĭragon Q(W)ue(arri)est(or) Monsters came out in '98, at least in Japan, and it was the first Game Boy Colour game ever developed. Guys, this is the first Dragon Quest game that ever came out in Europe. I mean, maybe back in the day some deadbeat saw this shit in K-Mart and was like yeah, maybe I can scare my kid straight with this game, not like that prissy Pokemon shit that's been turning him into, I didn't see shit this bad in prison, and then he like buys a pack of DQ carts and never comes back. Sure, Terry looks like a disgustingly precocious dork in the JP cover, but Terry's supposed to grow up to be a Badass White-haired Anime Swordsperson™, and (is that a do-rag?) the only path this guy's going down is becoming one of those suburban white rappers who use a lengthy list of gay slurs and ends up being busted for the uncoolest crime ever before transitioning to a DJ and finally finding their truth as an overly Christian prank YouTuber. Every single thing in this image is Pennywise, the reflection of all my fears.Īnd the main character. That Nintendo quality seal needs to go, man. OK, I'm taking the brackets off because I want to talk more about this cover. ![]()
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